Pillars

These pillars are falling down
I'm losing myself even more
Guess this is a fate I can't ignore
My soul has sunk beneath the floor
Don't care for what's in store
When I'm losing people I care the most
First it's me, now it's everyone else
Don't belong anywhere
So I'll dwell in hell now
Late at night once again
The thoughts that circle me just never ends
Think of my connections
Are they drifting?
Am I missing something?
Cause their voices gotten quiet
Can't stand silence
Need the answer gotta find it
I am lying in my bed
This dark room consumes me
Can't help but feel so lonely
Hide the pain with my laugh
Are we real?
I wish that
I would confront the situation
But I'm too scared I'll make it worst
With paranoia, I'm cursed
Goddammit I don't ever want this to crash and burn
Because these people are the reason I live
To strive for a better me
So I can't ever move on if you look at me as an enemy and say you're dead to me
I get that I did some shit and pushed myself away
Just please consider my thoughts cause I want all of you to stay
If you think it's over, then I wish the best for y'all
You guys have literally gave me nothing but the best of all
I probably deserve it, I wasn't worthy at all
I can't trust no one anymore so imma build my walls
These pillars are falling down
I'm losing myself even more
Guess this is a fate I can't ignore
My soul has sunk beneath the floor
Don't care for what's in store
When I'm losing people I care the most
First it's me, now it's everyone else
Don't belong anywhere
So I'll dwell in hell now
What is wrong with me?
I can't keep it together
What is wrong with me?
I destroyed us forever
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
Let me tell you what's wrong
I was a piece of shit all along
I thought that I learned to be better
But I didn't what so ever
So I get why you could want to sever this tie
I may not want to die
But I really don't deserve the best
With all of the effort it won't ever mean nothing
Since you will always just end up alone
Yeah screw this life
I already lost, so they won the fight
Maybe that's the shit the people wanted right?
I fell so deep that I can't see the light (uh)
Whatever this is, I can't take it no more
This shit is really hurting me to the core
I'm just gonna isolate, fuck everything
I don't want to risk my heart like this anymore