I Bought Myself A Politician

I bought myself a politician
'Cause I have never said I'd play it fair
They're currently on sale
Just picked them up from Yale
They're even cheaper if you take a pair

And on a whim I also bought the opposition
It's better to be safe, you never know
And then for even less
I also bought the press
To wrap it up and I was good to go

Who would have thought that no one dared to stop me
On my joyride? (Oh what a joyride)
Who would have thought that I could bring the whole world
To its knees?
And now the time has come to buy my way into the limelight
(Just got the time right)
As universal scientist and generous philanthropist
My shopping list confirms my expertise

I bought myself a politician
'Cause I have never said I'll play it fair
If they are not on sale
I pick them up from jail
It doesn't hurt to have a few to spare

Who would have thought that no one dared to stop me
On my joyride? (Oh what a joyride)
Who would have thought that I could bring the whole world
To its knees?
And now the time has come to buy my way into the limelight
(So I can shine bright)
As universal scientist and generous philanthropist
My shopping list confirms my expertise

If you look closely you can see I'm on a mission
There's something that I really wanna do
I’m promising you health
I'll save you from yourself
That's how I'm gonna try (that's how I'm gonna try)
To get you to comply (to get you to comply)
Might even have to lie so that you will let me buy you too