Feeling Existential

Your goatee is growin'
In front of your fake French café
You're readin' Kirkegaard
Underneath your very black beret
Smokin' filterless Camels
That stink just like Gitanes
Drinkin' some espresso
Droppin' all the names

Standing outside of a Winchell's
You're feeling very existential

You dreamed you were Whitman
Walt, the poet, the bard
But you're really more like Slim
An evil tub of lard
Lookin' in the mirror
And think you see James Dean
Now you turn to Dylan
You coulda been him
Feelin' so depressed
You're lookin' so distressed
And all the little girls
You just want to undress

You're uglier than your high-school principal
You're just feelin' very existential

You were kicked out of the college
Your Daddy couldn't afford
So you went out "On the Road"
In a '67 Ford
Then you went to Europe
You felt like Hemingway
You even loved a woman there
But you found out she was gay

Man, you gonna never get rid of your pimples
You're just feelin' very existential

Nothin' is nothin'
Everyone's a twit
Gonna tie myself up
Have a little fit
So grab your granny glasses
Dress all up in black
Find your journal
Read Jack Kerouac

Bed on down through the winter
You're feeling very existential

You'd like to sit on Kirk Douglas's dimple
Yeah, you're inside of a Chinese temple
And your mind, mind, is so, so simple

Standin' outside of a Winchell's
Feelin' very existential