Logs and Thangs

Now why are we discussing these home fires here
Let us clearify a few things
And speak of these fires in depth
Cause evidently you are not receiving the true message I am sending out here
Now we do have two kinds of fires going on
I have a fire
And you had a fire
Cause you see
Your fire has just about burned out
It could be that you been flicking your Bic so much elsewhere
Until you done run out of fuel
Now I don't know this
All I know is
This house is cold
There hasn't even been any ashes in this fireplace recently
And I am about to add a third fire
An outside fire
Now this fire has not yet started
Because I thought you should know the consequences of getting a fire started
On the outside
Now I am not talking about
Dropping a lil lit match somewhere on a wet day
I am talking 'bout
Burning down a whole damn county
Smokey the Bear would hate me after this
Now only you can prevent this forest fire
You can start by getting the fire started right here
I don't mean just one of them little smoke signals
Cause your name ain't Geronimo
Now either you do this
Or there gonna be enough sparks flying around here
That the whole neighborhood gonna think its the 4th of July
Cause I'm declaring my independence
My right for a man to offer me a Tipparillo
Oh yes, I'm gonna be smoking
Now I know you don't want this to happen
Cause once you get an outside fire started you can't control it
Every time you think you've just about smothered it
A good gust of wind come through and set that mickey-dickey on fire again
And you could end up with
A wildfire
And wildfires do have a tendency to spread
Oh no
Don't think you can start a fire across town
And its gonna stay over there
If you mess around and get burnt
Its gonna beat you home
Ain't no need to be telling your old lady nothing 'bout
I can't do nothing this week baby
I was lifting something down too heavy at the job and I got a strain
No buddy
The strain gonna be on your ass
Cause you done messed around and let these outside fires
Heat your house
And when an outside fire spread all the way to your house
Ooh lord
You wake up one morning
And your house is on fire
Building collapsing down around your ass
And you in trouble
I ain't bullshitting you in trouble boy
I'm talking about the heat is on
(The heat is on)
Mmmhmmm
Oh yeah
(Oh the heat is on)
And when that much heat get in your house
Niagra falls couldn't put that mickey-dickey out
And strange things start happening around the house
And then you come home one day
Lo and behold
There's a different kind of log in the fireplace
A log bigger than yours
A longer log than yours
And it just burns for hours
Even after the log burned down the coals stay lit
Then you know your ass in trouble
Its time for you to gather your twigs and split
Now I wanna tell you something, hear me
This is what is about to happen in our situation
I been checking out
The logs in the neighborhood
Nice logs
In fact, there's a whole god damn forest out there
And I am ready with my axe
To chop down the first tree I see baby
I want you to know this
So what I suggest you do here
If you wanna keep these home fires burning
Is do like they do
When they go downtown shopping
If you see something you want
And you don't have the money, or
It might be a little too expensive, or
Whatever the case right now
Now ain't the time for you to get it
If you really want it
You oughta put it in lay away