Closer to Home

When I get old
I will not consider it a compliment
When told I look younger than I am
Neither will I appreciate people half
My age calling me young man
“That’s Mister, or Sir to you young
Lady.”
When I get old, I will not care if
Teenagers think I’m cool
I will not try to use youthful slang
And accidentally say something inappropriate
When I get old I will say inappropriate
Things on purpose
Things I’ve thought for decades but
Knew only an old man could get away with
When I get old, I will not reminisce on
The good old days as if I grew up in the golden age of morality
As if Marvin Gaye sung about Sexual
Purity
As if Woodstock was a Billy Graham
Crusade
No. When I get old, I will remember the
Perversity of today and I will not make young people feel like sinners merely
Because they were born too late
When I get old, I will celebrate
Progress and see technology as my friend
When I get old, I’ll amaze the children
With stories about airplanes flying into skyscrapers. And how I was in
Washington at the inauguration of America’s first black president. And how my
Uncle was supposed to be his running mate but died when he crashed his truck

When I get old, I will make stuff up

When I get old, my vision may blur and
My memory might fade but I will never forget to sing hallelujah every single
Day
When I get old I will be closer to God
Not death
Closer to life, not death
Closer to home, not death

When I get old
I will never wish to trade positions
With a younger man
I will look back on the current me and
Be glad that I am no longer him
When I get old
I will read this poem and see how
Arrogant I am for supposing I know what I’ll be like when I get old
When I get old I’ll write a poem about
How I thought I was a good poet when I was young, but now I actually am
When I get old I will be the man
Possessing the mojo of every age
I will be

Dapper
Spiffy
Smooth
Groovy
Supa Fly
Too Legit
Fresh to Death
Swagalicious
And whatever else the young folks come
Up with to describe people like me

When I get old, I will not care if
Teenagers think I’m cool

'Cause I WILL BE COOL, no matter what
They say

And my grandchildren will shake their heads in shame