Explaining Addiction

When I slip into the abyss its almost like I search for happiness
Knowing I'm going to be prisoned again fill me with emptiness
I know it's my own addiction and I'm caught in this convention but I can't stop
That's why it keeps happening
The more I do it I feel like its satisfying
But maybe I am really dying from what
Its the need to feel imagined loved and what I can get out from it
Instead of what I can give others who need me
Feed meI can't be there for them selfishness cries out
I'm entitled to what they owe me
Cause they never showed me how to communicate or even demonstrated to me
What love is actually supposed to be
Is love just a dream if it was never given to me
I tried and tried but have I failed as a human being as a child or even as me
I say that in a lot of song lines but at least I know what's going inside of my mind
Battle after battle I myself am still fragile
Why can't I just tackle it down run it to the ground
My feet are shackled

Yea yea yea just like a drug addict
I need another sack yea yea yea
Take me back take me back before it all began

I Sit alone at night and think to myself from the beginning
I was seeking I be eating smoking or drinking
Cannot be doing nothing
This phenomenon of craving sneaks in I'm so jaded
I spent my nights alone faded can't just have one
The thought of 6 won
Suddenly I gave up 3o beers in
Sex with strangers while I'm gone
Thoughts of suicide I can't live with my own skin
In my triple darkness my mind is closed
My body undisciplined my spirit asleep
Where can I reach my peak
I just want to be at eased dark ideas is it just me
Reasons of fighting I can't see
Am I blind to this disease
Like if I deceive myself and repeat the same shit
Oh this is the reality of my habits
This is what I really practice
The same mind will always drink again
Unless I refine from sin
Discipline my body and my brain
To not act or think the same But I

Yea yea yea just like a drug addict
I need another sack yea yea yea
Take me back take me back before it all began