Pirates Don’t Take Baths

[Intro]
When I was just a little swabby, I liked two things
Getting dirty and playing pirate
Pirates live lives of adventure on the high seas
Get as dirty as the want, and they don't take baths

[Verse 1]
I said I was a pirate, 'cause pirates don't take baths
But my mom said, "Honey, that's not a righteous path"
She said, "My dear, you stink," and then she plopped me in the sink
She went rub, scrub
Rub, scrub, scrub-a-dub-dub-dub
Head to toe in between
And now I'm squeaky clean

[Verse 2]
Still thought I was a pirate and still could not keep clean
So my dad said, "Son, you're kind of ripe, know what I mean?"
He said, "Takе off those clothes," and then hе sprayed me with the hose
He went squirt, squart
Squirt, squart, ooh, that's cold
The water made me scream
But now I'm squeaky clean

[Verse 3]
I got a little older, still had that pirate smell
And my teacher, Mrs. Crocco, did not like that real well
So when I got to school, she went and threw me in the pool
I went splash, splosh
Splish, splash, cannonball
It seemed a little mean
But now I'm squeaky clean

[Bridge]
I go scrub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-dub
Scrub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-dub
Scrub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-a-dub-a, dub-dub
Now I'm squeaky clean
I was a dirty human being
But now I'm squeaky clean

[Instrumental Break]

[Refrain]
I was a dirty human being
But now I'm squeaky clean

[Verse 4]
Now I'm a real pirate and I sail the seven seas
No one tells me when I'm dirty and I can wash up when I please
And when I get the notion, I just jump into the ocean
Arr, hoist the loofah, matey
Swab off me timbers
My crew knows what I mean
And I get squeaky clean

[Interlude]
That's the end of my story
I'm living my dream on the high seas, and you can do the same
Just be true to your inner pirate
And it's okay to clean up a little now and then
But remember, pirates don't take baths

[Outro]
Rub, rub, scrub, scrub
Scrub, scrub, rub, rub, scrub-a-dub-dub
I was a dirty human being
But now I'm squeaky clean