True Player For Real (feat. Weird Al Yankovic and ...

Since I was three I had ADHD
Got in trouble constantly
Said, "Just gotta be me!"
Nineteen years later I've got this piece of paper
It says "congrats you're a broke English major"
I still live with Mom and Dad and it's kind of sad
When this Stanford grad brings ladies to his pad
"What up girl?"
"Aren't you that rapper with that song about Hot Topic?"
Maybe Bukowski was right about women? Ha ha, stop it!
This is an old-school jam, I'm dropping knowledge like Plato
While most rappers track it backwards and stay flat like Play Dowugh
But I'm a Minor Threat
I flip scripts so they know
You can't taze me bro ("Don't taze me bro!")
Not to concel
Keep it surreal
Piss off the British press when I'm like, "Who's John Peel?"
The NME says, "Lars is well rubbish, his single is bollocks"
But I know that they love this!

I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)
It's my self-referential introduction song
TPFR (true player for real!)
I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)

The name's MC Lars now you know the deal (true player for real)

Once upon a time Grandmaster Flash
inspired these nerds with a culture clash
Once Run-DMC mixed rock guitars with the kick, snare, kick, kick, snare
Public Enemy took a political stand
Now we pirate these records like damn the man
NWA got attacked by the media
Now we check the facts up on Wikipedia
Can't get on stage at the Jay-Z show
So we boot up ProTools and bust a funky flow
Online for free we don't make dough
Okay just thought I'd let you know
And I can give you twenty-seven reasons why
Post-punk rhymes are just as fly
As anything fborn from mainstream rap
'till my laptop dies and I'll take that back

I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)
Still my self-referential introduction song
You know the deal (true player for real)
I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)
The name's MC Lars, I'll smack a rock star (true player for real!)

Like Ralph Waldo Emerson, I stay "Self-Reliant"
Genre-defiant, all ages shows with Kobe Bryant
I just checked billboard
My album's in the charts
I think therefore I SoundScan, right Descartes?
But am I a culture thief making hip-hop sound white?
Haven't got the right like, Lancelot the Knight?
No, Camelot's a myth and Guinevere's a slut
So I'll jump into this mosh pit
Pants sagging like "What!"

I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)
That's my self-referential introduction song
Now you know the deal (true player for real)
I'm MC Lars (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real!)
The name's MC Lars, TPFR
True player for real

I kill it on stage with two DI's, why?
Post-punk laptop rap is the new DIY (true player for real!)
TPFR (true player for real)
I kill it on stage with two DI's, why?
Post-punk laptop rap is the new DIY
TPFR (true player for real)
TPFR (true player for real)
True player...true player