Anchored

This feeling is lingering
Everyday I wake up feeling defeated
Why must I crave death, where is my happiness?
I've spent years focusing on self-reflection
Just for everything to crumble
Am I real? I don't know
Will I ever, where can I disappear?
In my dream I was drowning in the sea
Sinking while my lungs collapsed
Why can't I feel at ease, why is my answer death?
When I woke up it felt like I still couldn't breathe
I ask myself why

The feeling lingers
It clings to me, like paint on a wall, like skin onto flesh
At night I close my eyes and hope my dream becomes reality
And I'm swallowed by the sea
My broken spirit suffers
If I could just feel weightless

I want it, but I gave up (The distance between)
Where I am and where I want to be is always the same
I wanted it so badly (Escapism)
Prolonging escape
I want it, but I gave up (Circumstantial)
Complacency
I wanted it so badly (Self-destruction)
Becomes a means of survival

An endless cycle
An endless cycle
Trying to find the difference between beginning and ending