In the Abyss of Desperation

I wish I could free myself
Of the arrogance I had when I was younger
But the knowledge does not make up for the pain
For all the pain that I suffer
Nothing really works anymore
This proud machine is falling apart in decay
And the disparaging eyes that stare at me
Makes me want to die today
I know I breed contempt
I felt the same in my first stages
It's just another lesson
That you learn through the ages
I only rejected you to keep away from sorrow
I pushed you away to kill the future pain
To see all your loved ones disappear one by one
Would make an old fool like me go insane
Weakened beyond what I thought was possible
Defying my sense of imagination
I'm crying out from the abyss of desperation
I know I breed contempt
I felt the same in my first stages
It's just another lesson
That you learn through the ages