Memories I Never Shared

All the times when I felt depressed
All the times when I fell down steps
Every time when I had requests
I asked for help
But it was seldom yes
I held
That
Within myself, upset
Now you ask me
To let go, repent?
I won’t let go
I will not accept
You call that pride?
I call it self-respect
Guess
That means that hell is next for me
That’s what happens when I fail your test
Right?
But I’ve never taken well to threats so
You can go ahead and melt my flesh
In my chest
There’s a little rebel
A little devil
On my shoulder
Sayin’ never settle
Never bow down to Geppetto
Cuz he left you hangin’
Like a puppet when you begged him prayin’
But I can sense a change
In the moments of despair
When I felt you never cared
Could’ve sworn I was alone
But then they tell me you were there
Now I’m taking time in prayer
As you breaking down the layers
Of my insecurities
With memories I never shared
No I don’t wanna go there
Memories I won’t share
You hurt me the first time
And I thought I was over it
But I guess we know where
This leads
I’mma dig out the dirt I’m
Hating every second
I remember the worst times
You say you’ll make it better
I don’t know how that works God
You’re making me angry again
It’s quite the reverse I’m
Doubting your presence
I got some questions though first like
Did you really shed your blood for me?
Do we live in a love story?
You say yes and then come toward me
I run back
I don’t trust purely
Yeah I’ve been through too much, sure
But then you show me your cuts
And your blood pouring
I get upset
It’s too much for me
Then you ask if
You can stand for me
In my suffering
Got me blubbering
Until the next morning
In the moments of despair
When I felt you never cared
Could’ve sworn I was alone
But then they tell me you were there
Now I’m taking time in prayer
As you breaking down the layers
Of my insecurities
With memories I never shared
And we hold up
Everything in our past
Like an old grudge
That we won’t ever let pass
And it owns us
If we don’t see it just as
Part of a beautiful plan for me
A piece of a masterpiece
In the moments of despair
When I felt you never cared
Could’ve sworn I was alone
But then they tell me you were there
Now I’m taking time in prayer
As you breaking down the layers
Of my insecurities
With memories I never shared
And it owns us
If we don’t
Ever feel like letting go
Got some things that I could tell you
That you’d never want to know
But you always want to go
To the darkness of my soul
And bring the lightness of the morning
Til my story is a whole