Confessions

Each time I come to spit a rhyme
I sit down and I wonder why
I do this to find what's inside
Of my soul, you can hear me cry
My voice gets a bit rough at times
You hear me grumble in these lines
I'm restless and I'm up at night
In hopes my toys will come to life
I'm like that wooden boy who lied
Who almost drowned then came alive
And now I live like I can fly
My normal day's a storyline
I'm braggadocios with these rhymes
I just want to be recognized
That's what I find
Beneath the grime
I try to hide
Please sanitize me
Makes sense cuz the times that we've entered
My church treats me like a leper
I get mad and I show a little temper
Mask up the media gonna pressure
Y'all still debating transgender
Meanwhile the body of Christ is dismembered
Thanks to the jesters we thought were shepherds
Don't think for one sec we won't remember
Who held the line
And who didn't step up
Who's semper fi
And who's a defector
I am your general
Call me protector
Get to your posts cuz
We won't surrender
But is it ironic I'm defender
Of a man who made himself lesser
Here I am, dressed up in vestments
Of a Pope as if I am better
Should've let God exalt me
Now this mic's my confessor
I'm up to my neck with sin now
Pray that I get it together
If I depend on my efforts
I'll get nowhere and be fallin' forever
Got to let go of all of this tension
Once I release I'm light as a feather
Mmmm come back to me
And you're fallin', but you always come back to me
And I offer
My whole self at the altar
Every time that I falter
And you help me grow stronger
I know you're the author
Of my life
So I give you all my vice
And my heart's heavy tonight
Turn my darkness into light
Man you take me on a journey
Sometimes it's disconcerting
Can't find you in the desert
Our people getting thirsty
My eyes are getting blurry
What's next for me? I'm worried
I'm not where you prefer me
Your will, I'm still discerning
What will the next page in my story be?
I got a problem with authority
They saying that they want more of me
So I show myself
And then they quarantine
Think I'm a king
But I am unequipped
Living at home
And I am twenty six
And that hurts so much to spit
That thought makes me so humble quick
Another kid with a special wish
Lord please fill in all my deficits
And give me the free range to let it rip
And show this world what I have to give
I think you think I'm not ready
But I've got this fire in my belly
Man I'm hungry and my head's heavy
But I truly trust what you tell me
Mmmm come back to me
And you're fallin, but you always come back to me
And I offer
My whole self at the altar
Every time that I falter
And you help me grow stronger
I know you're the author
Of my life
So I give you all my vice
And my heart's heavy tonight
Turn my darkness into light
Man you take me on a journey
Sometimes it's disconcerting
Can't find you in the desert
Our people getting thirsty
My eyes are getting blurry
What's next for me? I'm worried
I'm not where you prefer me
Your will, I'm still discerning