Fine Upstanding Citizen

[Intro: Jill Sobule]
Hey, she didn’t pay for that

[Verse 1]
A fine upstanding citizen just kicked my ass
I was almost out the door
The guard was gonna let me pass
Then another good Samaritan went and told
And the place went cold

The officer responding kicked my ass
I was almost in his car
I thought I was safe at last
Then the F.U.C. that worked me over
Went and told the blue
He wasn't through

A cashier left her line to hold me down
As all the honest shoppers were gathering around

[Chorus]
Everyone was cheering and I started thinking
Maybe I'm not welcome here

[Verse 2]
Grandmothers and children were joining in
'Cause everybody wants to be a fine upstanding citizen
I can't even remember what I tried to steal
I thought I'd make just one more appeal

But the officer responding agreed they were upstanding
Fists were flying and most of them were landing

[Chorus]
Everyone was cheering and I started thinking
Maybe I'm not welcome here
Maybe I’m not welcome here
Maybe

[Outro: Jill Sobule]
I think she’s still moving