The Watchmaker Theory

Where did the time go?
Back in the days I didn't want to admit
I was like the other white folks
I'd be in the burbs and see a cop car
Drive slow and I'd yell
Out "Duck, motherfuckers
There go 5-0!" Whoo!
Dressing like a thug in the mall and shit
Me and Emily just called it quit's
She was a young fire crotch alcoholic chick
If I remember correctly I think
Her dad was into politics
After school we'd go to Popeye's chicken
I would get a 3 piece combo
With some red beans and rice
On the side and an extra
Side of mac and cheese
One extra biscuit and 2 honey packets please
Where did the time go?
When I was 6 years old my
Uncle Darryl had a nice boat
Every independence day took us to
The lake or the Ozarks so we could watch the
Fireworks and light show
Around this time my parents decided that they
Wanted to go and terminate their marriage
We lived in Raytown
Missouri in a yellow house
With the tire-swing up
In the front yard down on 67 terrace
My mom planted radishes and carrots
Cabbages and hairless
Marijuana plants until my next door neighbor
Went and ratted to the sheriff
My whole entire family had to hide
Up in the Radisson embarrassed
My mother was a really pretty lady
My father was a salesman in
A used '83 'cedes
They'd argue a lot, she'd scream
He'd call her crazy
He'd disappear and not come
Back until day three
They seemed so old then
But they were in their thirties
They were in their thirties
My wife and I feel old
But we in our thirties
Listen, life ain't fair and it's weird
Everyday I pluck a gray hair from my beard
All the kids that used to be
Popular in school got fat
OD'd or they straight disappeared
Oh shit! where did the time go?
Back in the days I would speak to
My parents with an eye roll
Got a blowjob from Angeline
With my eyes closed felt guilty
Went home and tried to read the Bible
Fell asleep 3 pages in
Woke up and felt time slow like God is angry
At me now he gonna end my life no
Where did the time go?
My best friend just got divorced
Where'd his wife go?
Out to dinner with another guy bro
I knew for sure he'd shoot her with a rifle
Until I found out as it turns
Out that he has ED
And making love to his wife
Just hasn't been easy
He tried to make excuses trying to
Say that he was sleepy
And she just wanted a love life in 3D
And I can't blame her for it
And I can't paint the portrait
That she's vain and morbid
- cause she's not
This is why we need to fucking legalize
'Cause every single grown adult
That I've met gets a broken heart when they
Wonder where the time went
All you do is get gray hair then you die slow
Lay in your casket and wonder:
"Where'd the time go?"
Uh, you felt so young then
Then you're in your thirties
Right now you're seventeen
Blink a couple times and
You're gonna be seventy
Where did the time go? I don't know bitch
Hurry up and die slow hurry up and buy, ho
Everything is everything and everything
Is on sale except a perfect plan that is
Guaranteed to not fail
You want a guarantee? See
You go to college four years
Read some books but drank more beer
Somebody lied to you when they told you
That all you gotta do is
Go to college and the day after
You graduate you'll make $150, 000
Go to happy hour
Get a nice Martini with an olive and
And a brand new Porsche with
The candy paint polish
You want a mansion with a pool?
You can have all this!
All you gotta do is go
To class a couple times
You don't gotta worry about the time
You don't gotta worry about the $89
999 that you're gonna be in debt
Pay your student loan down let
Us see you sweat you want a job? Well this
Company don't need you yet
Started at the bottom and you'll stay
At the fucking bottom till your
Heart is in decay
You at the fucking bottom till
Your hair is turning gray
So you try to numb the pain
Getting married turn away
Maybe you will get it if I whisper this:
You gotta start your own business
Start your own business
Start your own business
Follow your dreams you little bitches

Hi, can you come here Eric?
I know you've worked for this
Company for 37 years
And you treat it like a career
Unfortunately, the way corporations work is
We don't give a fuck about you and have no
Emotional connection to anything other
Than our profit so, you're fired!