Basketball Shorts

These are the things that I think
When I've had a bottle of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't
Have to fall short
Just lounging in my basketball shorts

Look, I've finally married someone
I'm in love, i'm not alone
But marriage has some struggles of it's own
And that creates a problem cause if I
Go and put that in my
Lyrics then my wife will be the
First person to hear it
I married my best friend i've got
The best friends and a stack
Of photos covered in some dust
Particles and some dead skin
Sometimes I think about the baby
That I used to be
And how it's all just ultimately
Leading to my eulogy
You see, life hurts like a
Bitch sometimes i mean sometimes
I hate the fuckin' sunshine so I go
Get enough wine at one time
To hide up in my confines and
Unwind while vibin' to some Sublime
I just want to take my mind off all this
Angry fan mail accusing me of selling out
Telling me I ran stale
Getting hurt by people that
I'm trying to please
Apparently I need to rap while
On the flying trapeze
Jeez, I bought another lottery ticket
Tonight and out the six
Numbers I picked not one
Single digit was right
But life's been so stressful
That I'll be honest
The last thing I need is
A hundred million dollars

These are the things that I think
When I've had two bottles of
Red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't
Have to fall short just lounging in my
Jayhawks basketball shorts

These days my dad is my friend
I mean last night at the we had martinis
With gin and he told me that
He thinks Beyonce is a 95- maybe a
10, and she has really pretty skin
And I smiled
I like smiling i like fantasizing about the
Day I'm gonna own my own island
I like fantasizing about the
Day that this anxiety
Won't constantly be turning all
My skies gray
Over-analyitcal, constantly self-critical
I don't need three wishes
Just one: make me invisible
Cause I remember days I'd get on
Stage to a crowd of twenty
People and only seven of them paid
Rich kids with college degrees
Coming up and saying
"Fuck fame and money never
Follow 'em please i love your music
I downloaded all of it free
Why would you care? You're a rap star
Your profit is deep"
Jeez, life hurts like a bitch but
Sometimes I love it seriously
Sometimes I look at my life and
Straight love it but only
On the days I close my eyes and say fuck it

These are the things that I think
When I've had two bottles of
Red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't
Have to fall short just lounging in my
Jayhawks basketball shorts

And I'm hoping for and
I'm hoping for tomorrow
Cause paradise is found in a bottle
Paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is
And the woman on the plane in front of me
She keeps farting and it smells so bad
That I can't take a nap
I think she's gotta take a crap
But that's neither here nor there
Here we go

Look man
I'm just searching for a pot of gold
I fear the day that people say
My heart has gotten cold
Staring at my friends at Guitar Center
I am your broken hearted, scarred, mentor
Oh shit
I'm gonna have a baby in like ten days
He's gonna be my little prince
I can't wait
Life is intense and you know I'm gonna
Take a knife when I glimpse

These are the things that I think when I've
Had a bottle of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall
Short when I'm lounging in
My basketball shorts wait, no, no
These are the things that I think when I've
Had two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't
Have to fall short when
I'm lounging in my Jayhawks
Basketball shorts that's KU, by the way
These are the things that I think when I've
Had three bottles of red wine to drink
And I want a couple LA
Tacos and some motherfucking Roscoe's
Always
These are the things that I think when I've
Had five bottles of red wine to drink
And that's way too much wine to drink