Do I Love You

Do I love you? No
Do I love you? I dont
How many moments am I willing to waste
Because goals like these are to bitter to taste
I keep looking in mirrors such an ominous place
Cause I see the demons that hide behind this face
Am I running in circles like a rat in a race
Or am I standing in place
Of all of my dreams like I dont belong in this space
To many problems that eat me alive
I'm drowning in fear not sure I'll survive
Tonight I turn 25
But what dose that mean if I lose my drive
Cause I'm feeling lost, I pushed them away my souls what it cost
At the end of the day my heart's going cold
To the devil I pray, I bleed from my heart a sacrifice I'm willing to pay
But I'm still questioning who I am at the end of the day
Do I fight with myself or the ones that I love
Did I ever truly fit in with the ones I was putting above
Or was I just dumb for giving them all of my faith
I just left my job so that I can't quit because nothing is safe
Do I love you no
Do I love you?
Do I love you no
Do I love myself?
Lets get this straight i spent to long without food on my plate
& I've never seen love work so I only know hate
But still took my chance to maybe twist my fate
Stuck on repeat are the words "it's never to late"
But when your still carrying dirt it's hard to clean that slate
Why am I pretending that everythings great
With all of this pain that I can't burry
So I cut myself into pieces?
Like I can't love myself until all of my blood releases
Until all exsistance ceases
Jesus
All of this is so needless
Got them walking on pens and needles
Suicide is got to be one of my lesser evils