Lil a (Lost Hope)

I lost hope
I'm tryna end things but I choke
The words are caught up in my throat
Feeling like I'm drowning but trying With all I got to stay afloat
I'm looking back at everything we ever wrote
And wondering where we broke
My body and soul tryna take a vote
My heart says to stay
But my brain says to go
It says you're gonna get hurt
But my heart
Says the highs are better than the lows
But you just seem like you don't even care
Everything seems about you and it just ain't fair
I always seem like the only one who puts in the effort
I'm always tryna make things go better
And whenever things go bad you look away and say whatever
And I'm so lost for words
Cause I don't wanna do this anymore but I love you so much and
I don't want to be where I was before
Why can't things just work
I don't wanna give up so easily
But how can I not
When you already did
You just stab through my heart
And it seems like you don't even give a shit
I'm tryna be everything you ever wanted
At the start I had your heart
But now it seems like I lost it
And now I'm left here just thinking how
How did we end up right here
Right now
Where did everything go wrong
I thought we were going strong
But everything took a dark turn
But my heart went cold
It doesn't seem to burn
But now
I used to bloom but now
I'm in pain just like fern
And I'm trying so hard to fix things
So I can keep your heart
But it seems like you're heart
Has been poisoned
Like it's been rotten
And toyed with
And something just destroyed it
But you just seem like you enjoyed it
I've been exploited
And I could've avoid it
But I wanted to take the risk
I thought you'll definitely be different
And everything seem fine
Until it turned to ignorance
Until pretty much
Every day there were fights
And every night
It seem like I cried myself to sleep
And woke up with dried eyes
And I'm so tired of it
I don't wanna deal with it
I wanna end but I really don't
I wanna fix things
But how can I do it alone
How can I do it on my own
I don't wanna go solo
I want you by my side
At all times like my shadow