Come and See

Come and see they will say
You did not know me they will say
You did not love me they will say
You did not thirst for the taste of me

They will say i lied
About our youthful encounter
When i lifted my hem
And i let my form shine through the folds
Of a terrible day

40 years i wandered in your desert
A moment of your beauty
And 40 years of breathlessness to balance it
40 years of remorse
40 years of disappointment

Sleep which gives no rest
Caress which does not calm
Excitement with no background
Arousal from no depth
The shallows of excitement
Because it was not you
And a hand across my mouth to silence me
A clever fatigue to shut me down
A knot in my throat a blow to the brain
A sweet distraction to kill the appetite

A flush of sugar to kill the appetite
And then forgetting you for 40 years
Building houses for women
Whom you sent to remind me

See how i failed you but that doesn't mean
It never happened

This began and fizzled out
Once again too tired
To love you or look for you
In the suffering

And did i forget to thank you
For what i felt a moment ago
When you beckoned me with god knows what
Drunken promises