Mate Spawn & Die

Hair by mail
Tit jobs for teens
Go broke appearing rich
Searching for Rosebud in the fire
Pop stars fingers in the fans
The therapist you wish you had
Crucifix or lubricant
Government by fad!

Mate! Spawn! & Die!
My my my my...
Mate! Spawn! & Die!
My my my my...

Are those salmon upstream turning red
From shear embarassment
Came all this way up all them ladders
Without checking a map
May the farce be with you

In one corner of the ring
That cherished myth
Falling in love magically solves
Every problem you've ever had
In the other corner
Spoon size shredded dreams
The Gods must be lazy
The movie goers must be crazy

Mate! Spawn! & Die!
My my my my...
Mate! Spawn! & Die!
My...

Wrong worm, hooked again
Mounted on the wall in my own den
I'll talk alone to a firefly
Dial 1-900-Suk-Me-Dry
You can't throw me to the lions
I'm Charlton Heston!
You can't throw me to the lions
I'm Charlton Heston!

Mate! Spawn! & Die!
My my my my...
Mate! Spawn! & Die!
Yippe Ti-Yi-Yi-Yo
Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho

What do you really want for Christmas, children?
"...Mmmmm...
Nice place ya got here, darlin'
Sure wish the hot water worked
Gotta rinse my jizz off before mornin'
Or I'll itch for a week - "
Rarp!
Damn! that water's cold
Agh!
Eeee!

Steven Tyler
Of all people once said
"If men bled
Would tampons be free?"

Omi'god, I gotta get goin'
"Now?"
I forgot to feed the cat