Trippin' with Dick Vitale

Dumb diti dumb dang dang di dumb
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look Jack I'm the shit
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick

My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
She never liked me and I know that's true
Kicked me out the crib becuz I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares

And all I ever get is funny stares
I can't help it if I'm nothin but a wino
So I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin' bottles of booze outta A & P

I know a girl at Denny's and I always eat free
Got the same birthdate as Thomas Crapper
For Christmas I bought the old man the Clapper
I'm so dapper you can call me Dan

But they call me round eye when I'm chilin in Japan
Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain't no dike
But fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like
I like bean burritos from Taco Bell

I like trippin on acid with Dick Vitale
My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't clashin'
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fashion
Took too many many trip and now I can's stop trippin

My mellow D. killed a rat in the kitchen
You think you toke tuff I'd disagree
Nobody blows more doobs than Richard D.
I get ill on hoes who I know ain't fertile

I'm a real jet setter like Cecil turtle
I'm down with Bill Bands so Fuck Joe Glover
And while I'm at it mother fuck fat ass Sally Struthers
You look fine girl kinda undercover

But I can't fuck ya 'cause you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
It ain't Eric Estrada or cool and The Gang
You know I hand in the Clem chillin on the strip

With all them mother fuckers who slang that shit
You know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster
You sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me

But fuck it 'cause I know "Somebody up there likes me."
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'