​dutch door confusion

[Part I]

[Verse 1]
I'm not the one that they needed
Gave me a call and said beat it, can you believe it?
No longer dreaming
Grouping em all for a beating, don't wanna see it, what is the meaning?
Why am I doing the shit that I'm doing?
Pursuing the things I should not be consuming
Poison my body and drown it in acid
Feel like my brain like my dick and it flaccid
Weird shit, real talk
Nothing makes sense when the dog barks
No lights, masks off
Flipping its head when I play smart
Weird shit real talk
No lights, masks off
Big dream, small mind
Lost in a world with no time
Lost in a world with no time!

[Part II]

[Skit]
(Phone call)

[Verse 2]
Sometimes I wish I wasn't, born to take away the pain
But life goes on doesn't it, huh?
Shit insane
All the thoughts inside my head, they get infected
Every time one of my friends tell me someday I will look straight through it
But I've been going dutch door since 2017
And I've been asking all these questions about them and me
But only to myself and, not the ones I see
I want to say it but I'm scared of letting myself free

[Skit]
(Phone call)