Big 10

Two old ladies were sitting on the grass
One shoved a finger up the other one's
Oi!

I had a girl the other night and just as the day was dawning
A crowd came by and they joined in
And our case comes up in the morning
(well there's no sweat anyway, I'm the judge
I'll try em without the other)

Dread and I were sitting in the bath
Dread blew off and made I laugh
(oh look bubbles!)

Old mother Riley she got drunk
She fell on the fire and she burnt her
Oi!
(Musta been too much Guinness
Silly old cow)

In days of old when knights were bold
And ladies weren't invented
A knight drilled holes in telegraph poles
And he had to be contented
(If you'd asked me I'd have given him a tin opener)

A girl who lives next door to me
Sunbathes on the lawn
I'd be over the garden fence
And I always get the
(Tally ho!)

My latest girl is slightly deaf
With her it's never heaven
Her conversation's rubbish
So I always cock a deafn'
(Are you coming darling?
Aye?
That's what they say, too much makes you deaf
Huh?
Oh, well I think I'll go home and take the wife's tights off. They're making my legs itch.)