Now Hiring at Freddy’s

Hey there, pal! Looking for work?
But sick of being pushed
Around by lousy bosses?
How would you like to run
And manage your own business?
Well, all we need is a
Little paperwork and your soul

Become a Fazbear franchisee, you're
More than family, you're the star
We've got a little fixer upper for you
There's lots of work here to do
So let's start!
Cut some corners if it makes you a profit
I promise you're gonna go far
Frozen Pizza's the best!
Not one ingredient's fresh!
But just tell the customer they are!
All these animatronics have made us so famous
They've got a history
Almost all of it's heinous!
But they make us so much money
How could anyone blame us?
Salvage all the old ones
Shouldn't be dangerous
I've heard a frontal lobe
Removal's rather painless
Better that to happen than for
Us to go bankrupt
And remember if you ever get
Hurt on the job, unfortunately
Corporate cannot cover your loss

Come on down to Freddy's and we'll
Make a tycoon of you
Invest all of your savings cuz
You're gonna double it soon
Minimize the casualties and please just
Don't get us sued every shift will be fun
If you get your duties done and clean
All the blood off your shoes

Just Kidding!
It's only marinara, you nincompoop
But, accidents do occasionally happen
Here are some precautionary instructions in
Case of a mishap:
Entertainment upgrades have a price
Minor injuries are a workplace sacrifice
With the animatronics you always
Want to play nice
And keep a safe distance, that's solid advice
Oh, children love to play, boy
Can they make a mess!
We know how much you'd love to
Strangle them by their necks
Just tell those little brats to give
Freddy a hug and when
It's done sweep whatever's left of
Them under the rug
Because a bad reputation cannot be afforded
Don't get rid of the problem just
Get rid of the corpses
Sanitation is of strictly minimal importance
And if Police are at the door make sure
They've got proper warrants
Ethics and Morals are completely subjective!
As long as you prosper
You need nothing corrected!
If anything breaks don't sweat, trainwreck
We'll just take it out of your next paycheck

Come on down to Freddy's
You oughta stay for a while
If any children go missing
Just don't let that go on file
Don't get any blood on the carpet it's easier
Cleaning the tile and if a kid ends
Up dead kill all the witnesses next and
Make sure it's done with a smile

Now what? You want a raise?
Maybe, after another couple days
Order more decorations to cover
The walls with
And take remaining appendages out
Of the ball pit's
When bodies start rotting you'll
Know for sure
Take your mind off it with another high score
Then we'll have a performance
You and Freddy together
At this family franchise that'll
Go on forever!

Come on down to Freddy's
We'll suck the soul out of you!
A workshift can be deadly but we'll
Bring you back to life soon
Maximize the casualties
At this point we're gonna get sued
And before you can leave clean
All the carpets with bleach
And we'll make a monster of you