Elven Wood Cutting Song in the Key of Jeff Goldblum

Travis Vengroff, Mike Pettry

Balmur: Yes yes. Uh, excuse me -I’m gonna be gathering, gather some wood. Forgive me if I HUM to myself a little Elven tune, of which I am fond, um. Please forgive me if I indulge. (hums elven parlor tunes while an orchestra slowly fades in behind him)
Glom: Okay… Oh great, magical music…
Ildrex: You’ll have to teach us some elven… Parlor songs!
Balmur: Here’s a little, uh, a parlor tune. It’s three-part harmony. See if you can join in if you got, uh, the ear for that kind of thing. (starts singing, and everyone joins in except Glom)
Soren: Fantastic!
Soren: Oh, I know this one!
Glom: Yeah Great! Oh, yeah, let’s sing some witch songs everyone… Nobody cares…
Balmur: (laughing) What’d you think about that?
(They continue singing as Glom watches on, disinterested, nearly tripping over a piece of lumber)
Soren: So, so cool!
Gaelle: That was quite fun, do you know any more?
Glom: Hey Gaelle, what if he’s one of those elven wizards? Huh? Maybe someone should be listening to me!
Balmur: Here, here’s another one. Uh, Wait, wait. Here, here, I know, this makes good harmony. Wait a second, oh I know it, um…
(More music is sung, and the team joins in)
Balmur: Sorry (laughter) I did it. -I knew I was gonna do it!
Gaelle: You know, I’m quite enjoying this!
Travis: That was awfully strange even for us!
Glom: Stupid magical music!
Balmur: See what I mean? “Awfully strange” he says, we’re already beset with Elven Magic!
Travis: Okay! -Balmur, who stated that he was a skilled woodsman began his search for viable branches with Ildrex while Glom, Gaelle, and Soren set up a camp area, clearing out the snow.
Balmur: Yeah, I’m just gathering wood… and uh, -
[Jeff and the team sing (orchestrated) “A Nice Round” while Glom laughs his butt off and Travis questions his life choices]
Travis: What!?
[Music continues with Travis joining in in baritone]
Balmur: Yeah, yeah, feel free to join in there. That’s also a good ROUND!
Travis: And the DM took 10 stress damage…

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