Very Sad Things

[Intro: Storytelling Skit]
Teacher: Ahem. Hi, kids. Today, we have a special guest for story time
Student: Bo-ring
Student: I don’t want to stay here. This sucks
Teacher: Ms. Jean Grae. Go ahead, Ms. Grae. They’re all yours
Student: Can I go the nurse’s office?
Teacher: Listen, Bobby, sit down
Jean Grae: OK, OK
Student: You’re not Eve
Jean Grae: No, I’m not Eve. Hehe
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: No, you can’t go the bathroom
Jean Grae: Anyway, I’ve got a little story to tell. Everybody just settle down. Here we go

[Verse 1: Jean Grae]
Black Nova rims. Sun shining, ’99 summertime
June 4th, 85 on I-95 North
Headed back, sitting down. Two bodies in the trunk
Hostage in the backseat. Breast stopped beating
Take her in the bushes, peeing. Black-tank-top-sporting
.44, toting two 9s, glove box, fly’s open
Gas, slow cash flow, hostage in Krylon
Coat on the dashboard, smoking a glass-closed cockpit
Passenger’s seat holding the icepick
The blood splash, the seat’s drenched in plasma
Girl gasp while the punk scream. She got asthma
Crying teen out the window pronto
Exhale deep thoughts in the backseat console
Close it up, choke her out, laugh ‘til it hurts
Dump her on the side of the road. Fuck it, throw the car in a
Lake most shallow, carve three notches in my face
Head up to the church in a small town, blaze it
Run while it burn, break into a near basement
Torch it. Two pyro acts. Sit on the lawn
Watching people scatter out, pop ‘em one by one
‘Cause I’m lawless, where random acts of violence soothe me
Then I pause, pull the .44 and cock it to me
Then I launch lead straight and paint the grass red
Story time over. Game over. Kids, the end

[Interlude 1: Storytelling Skit]
Teacher: Haaa! I am so offended
Jean Grae: Yeah. You like the story?
Student: Can I pee?
Teacher: I’ve never been so shocked in my life
Jean Grae: I’m for the kids. (*Crying*) Shut up!

[Hook: Jean Grae and Students] (x2)
It’s bad things. Very bad things
So be scared, get prepared for what’s happening
Grab your dolls and your teddy bears, everything
Check your beds and your closets and play things
And parents. It’s bad dreams. Very bad things
Very bad things. Very bad things (I’m scared)

[Interlude 2: Storytelling Skit]
Jean Grae: Oh, look at me. I’m just a little kid. I can’t take the story. Shut up and listen to the story! You wanted a story? Here’s the story. Listen, damn it!
Student: I want my mommy!
Student: Can I go home now?

[Verse 2: Jean Grae]
Jenny was an A student on the way to school
She passed a van and a man jumped out
Offered her candy, said he handed it out to good girls and
Can she take a ride with him and his daughter Nancy?
But Jenny’s not stupid, so she walks along
On the side of the road alone, looking for cops. The van
Drives off. Jenny’s scared, screeches occur
Her lunchbox drops. She stoops. Hands grab, she’s snatched
In the front of the van, she sits tied up
While twelve kids pile, playing backseat driver
They drive for days and eat nothing but some Blow Pops
Sodapops, Ritz, and Lays, and many
Kids pass out. Jenny doesn’t. Tend to your cousin
Plenty tears. Plenty cussing. Plenty fussing
Plenty beaten. Plenty molested. Plenty bussing
Jenny missing two weeks. She getting weak. Four
Kids pass. Snatch five more from the streets
He wears a mask at night. A fucking bastard case
He should be shot to death. He should be locked away
So Jenny’s got the plan, gathers up the kids
When he sleeps, creeps up, gets a knife and jigs
Screams, “It’s not right!” Stops him. “Everybody
Run for your life!” (So what happened?)
The cops never got him (No!)

[Hook: Jean Grae and Students] (x2)
It’s bad things. Very bad things
So be scared, get prepared for what’s happening
Grab your dolls and your teddy bears, everything
Check your beds and your closets and play things
And parents. It’s bad dreams. Very bad things
Very bad things. Very bad things (I’m scared)

[Interlude 3: Storytelling Skit]
Jean Grae: Yeah, I know you’re scared. All right. I, I’m leaving... No, I’m not. I’m just kidding. There’s another one and this one’s worse than the others. Little Susie, dry your eyes. Aww, look at you. Did Jenny pass out? Ho ho! Funny! Let’s go!

[Verse 3: Jean Grae]
New town, new kid, new victim
At school. Billy Smith, the son of a dentist
Wears braces, wack shoes, tight laces
When he eats, the kid makes funny faces
Taped glasses. Likes his math classes
No friends. They just stay kicking his ass. This
One kid play nice with him. Mike Pippen
Billy’s mom invites him over for chicken
And stovetop stuffing—you know, real suburban
House picket fence, white dog, mom in apron say
“Dinnertime, boys.” Billy just run upstairs
“I got toys!” Mike follows. They playing
With Jango and Solo, Jabba and Yoda
Giggling, beating up Leia and Amidala
“Billy, come downstairs. It’s your father”
They break north down the stairs. Intercom buzzes
Billy’s dad rushes in, grabs Mike
Knocks him ‘til his head just pops right in
One hour later, they all sitting ‘round the dinner table
Minus Mike, who’s getting carved up lovely
Served with a little rice pilaf and bubbly

[Interlude 4: Storytelling Skit]
Student: What happened to him?
Jean Grae: Oh no, that means they ate him, kids
Student: No!
Jean Grae: They carved him up and ate him like the little boy that he was

[Hook: Jean Grae and Students] (x2)
It’s bad things. Very bad things
So be scared, get prepared for what’s happening
Grab your dolls and your teddy bears, everything
Check your beds and your closets and play things
And parents. It’s bad dreams. Very bad things
Very bad things. Very bad things (I’m scared)

[Outro: Storytelling Skit]
Jean Grae: So kids, tell all your parents to go out and cop that new Jean Grae album, play it right before you go to bed. Love ya. See you later. Sorry, your teacher’s waiting. Some things have to happen. Alright. Good night
Student: I don’t want to go to school again
Student: My mom is gonna beat you up!