English Language

[Chorus]
English Language (English Language)
We’ve all had enough of you making it
Tough for us all to pronounce you (how to pronounce you)
You need to pick a frickin’ lane
With the sounds you’re making

[Verse 1]
Like ‘ough’
It’s said how it’s spelt
Oogh?
Psych!
It’s oh, ow, oo, or, off, uff, uck or up
What the fuck is up with that? (I'm so confused)

[Chorus]
English lan-gua-gey (English lan-gua-gey)
We’ve all had enoo of you making it too for us to pro-no-un-kay (pro-no-un-kay)
It feels like you’re just taking the P
Out of pterodactyl to fuck with us

[Verse 2]
Let’s talk about queue
That sounds already the first letter so what’s with the extra ‘ueue’? (q-way-u-way)
Are we just adding any old shit to the endings of words now?
In that case, I’ll have the fish and chips
And a packet of prawn cocktail crisps
Yеs, the dollar sign is silent
Oh, the hyphеn? No that’s pronounced [gibberish]

[Chorus]
English Lan-jua-jey (English Lan-jua-jey)
We’ve all had e-now of you making it tou for us to pro-shin-u-la-sey (pro-shin-u-la-sey)
Why is the plural of mouse mice
But we can’t live in semi-detached hice?
If you keep on laughing at me
You’re gonna drive me to commit mans-laughter

[Outro]
And don’t even get me started on the place names
Cholmondeley? Happisburgh? Woolfardisworthy?
Oh, screw this, I’m moving to France
...
Oh, sweet Jesus