Endlessly

Dont you act like you know me
You dont feel what i feel
Can you just understand me
Hate the world when it’s real

Listen to the words that i say
Listen to the words and my pain
Listen to the thoughts that remain, in my head
Tryna block em out, smoke it out with the Mary Jane

Sick of all the anger, sick of the regret
Tryna take the stress away, smoke a cigarette
Sick Of all the habits, sick of all the debt
Tryna make a living, then I lose it on roulette

Yeah, Kinda sad at 20 years young
Suicidal thoughts, Everytime I get drunk
Drinking up with my day ones
End up getting in my feels even though I know I’m sipping for the fun

Or maybe I just do it cause I’m numb
Know I need to eat but I waste my income
Amy winehouse knows where I’m coming from
Never knew that this would be the story and the person I’d become

Sorry mum, I know you taught me better
Showed me the road but I’m stuck in the centre
Cause I’m stuck in a place, still tryna find my way
Still tryna get away but I’d never send that letter

I hope my brother doesn’t turn out this way
I hope my brother doesn’t have to ride this wave
This state of mind, the thoughts combined
That satan finds, me at this age

Yeah, man I’m always fucking fighting with my girl
Even though I know she wants the best for me
But I’m dealing with some demons that pester me
They're tryna buy my soul like an accessory

And I Raise my voice when shes right next to me
I Hardly show it, but know I love her endlessly
But I kinda still wonder why she stays with me
To see her patience impresses me

Yeah, this shouldn’t be my destiny
God i need a hand please rescue me
Cause I’m kinda feeling stranded like a refugee
I know this isn’t who I was supposed to be

If I killed myself would you notice me?
I been fatherless since my mums pregnancy
I hate the fact that my father abandoned me
I wonder where I get my looks from supposedly

I hate using drugs so willingly
Always fucked up, show it so openly
And it’s sad that I tend to show it boastfully
I fucking lie that I only do it socially

Man I do it when I’m lonely
Man I do it cause I’m stressed
I Dont give a fuck if people look down on me
Yeah They wouldn’t understand man I’m fucking depressed

I’m sick of using fake smiles to pretend that I’m happy
Sick of looking for a lift for this weight that I carry
Sick of popping pills, for the thrill of tryna forget
Cause the only thing that’s helping is the bud and the ket

Sick of working 9-5 just to blow it on gambling
20 years old I hate the way that I’m travelling
Hate my way of life to the sin I’m a slave
Only time I’m feeling fine is when I’m fucked at a rave

Man I wonder what my sister thinks of me
And my mum for the pain that she feels for me
Cause I’m fucking up life when they believed in me
It’s like I see myself falling but acceptably

I hate the devil for the thoughts that he’s giving me
I hate the fact that I think the worlds beating me
I hate the fact that my old self is leaving me
This is really how I feel now it’s killing me

Now you know how I feel, just let it be

Dont you act like you know me
You dont feel what i feel
Can you just understand me
Hate the world when it’s real