Cheese Nips (Demo)

Cheese nips
They want cheese nips
They poo poo the pâté du pays
But the cheese nips
They like cheese nips
And they’re not even touching the brie

Cola, Coca-Cola
It’s forget the Moet and Chandon
Okay, let’s see—
There’s some Pepsi
God, the whole bowl of cheese nips is gone
Mother Mary, the ham’s from Westphalia
And the lamb I had flown from Australia
Bet they’ll want it well-done
Or sliced thin on a bun
With a sauce
Orange sauce
McDonald’s sauce

Cheese nips
Little cheese nips
Bet they dip ‘em in Kraft sandwich spread
Bet they’d eat a
Whole Velveeta
Bet they’d love it
I wish I was dead
Oh the wurst was the best and Bavarian
True the caviar’s utilitarian
But it does come from Russia
And surely deserves to be tried
Bet you they’d
Want it fried

Crunching and munching them louder and louder
They’re crunching and munching them louder and louder
Oh god, now it’s deafening
Jesus, what’s happening?
What’ll I do?
What’s that on my shoe?
It’s pink
It smells icky
Oh Jesus, it’s sticky
My rug!
My poor rug! They killed my rug!

Cheese nips
Little cheese nips
They make beautiful bright yellow crumbs
Cheese nips
Little cheese nips
You must serve them when company comes
Cheese nips
Cheese nips
Back home again in Indiana

(spoken)
Late that night, Sylvia Rosewater attempted to burn down the Rosewater Township Volunteer Fire House. She was committed to a private mental hospital, in Indianapolis