I Never Thought

[Verse/refrain/Chorus 1]
I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this
There's a girl with green teeth and she's gettin' kinda hard to resist
There's a shot for me sitting on the stage
And tonight I'm feeling my age
I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this

[Verse/refrain/Chorus 2]
I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this
'Got good songs and I can't figure why they ain't hits
I can get to first base on my looks
If I can stand on telephone books
I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this

[Verse/refrain/Chorus 3]
I always thought I'd hitch up with a real pretty gal like you
But I wound up with a shrew and she's always tellin' me what to do
I'd like to ask you for a date
But I can't afford to get home late
I guess I'll never wind up with a real pretty gal like you

[Verse/refrain/Chorus 4]
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this
Everytime we take a bow the audience starts to hiss
I'd quit the band if I had the nerve
But I guess I'm getting what I deserve
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this

[Refrain]
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this
No! I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this