Can't say fairer than that

You barely know me
And already you're installed
You left your number
Somewhere on my back it's scrawled

Look I've enjoyed the few days
The fun we had
The memories may well linger
I can't say fairer than that

Don't tell me how it is
That I should not behave
Don't tell me secrets that
You're taking to your grave

I have to hand it to you
Put into bat
You'd made a good half century
I can't say fairer than that

Tell me something I don't know
That I don't know I should
Tell me somewhere I can go
That I don't know I could

She had the bluest eyes
That I have ever seen
Although being colour blind
It could be they were green

Women are always saying
Do I look fat
Could be you don't look thinner
I can't say fairer than that

You could argue we don't know
How different we are made
You insist that it's a shovel
I say it's a spade

You'd never know it but
I'm very good at draughts
I'll leave the front doors open
As well as the backs

Who wants to be in your shoes
Who wants to be in mine
Let's start by saying in your shoes
I'd barely walk the line

Of all the dirty low down
Tricks you could have played
I love the one where you
Pretend to be depraved

You have the kind of features
From where I'm sat
You'd make a fish look happy
I can't say fairer than that

Marks out of ten let's face it
Caught in the act
You'd rate at least a seven
I can't say fairer than that