Never Mind The Why And Wherefore

Captain.
Never mind the why and wherefore,
Love can level ranks, and therefore,
Though his lordship's station's mighty,
Though stupendous be his brain,
Though her tastes are mean and flighty
And her fortune poor and plain,

Captain & Sir Joseph.
Ring the merry bells on board-ship,
Rend the air with warbling wild,
For the union of his/my lordship
With a humble captain's child!

Captain.
For a humble captain's daughter —

Josephine.
For a gallant captain's daughter —

Sir Joseph.
And a lord who rules the water —

Josephine. (aside)
And a tar who ploughs the water!

All.
Let the air with joy be laden,
Rend with songs the air above,
For the union of a maiden
With the man who owns her love!

Sir. Joseph.
Never mind the why and wherefore,
Love can level ranks, and therefore,
Though your nautical relation (alluding to Capt.)
In my set could scarcely pass,
Though you occupy a station
In the lower middle class —

Captain & Sir Joseph.
Ring the merry bells on board-ship,
Rend the air with warbling wild,
For the union of his/my lordship
With a humble captain's child!

Captain.
For a humble captain's daughter —

Josephine.
For a gallant captain's daughter —

Sir Joseph.
And a lord who rules the water —
Josephine. (aside)
And a tar who ploughs the water!

All.
Let the air with joy be laden,
Rend with songs the air above,
For the union of a maiden
With the man who owns her love!

Josephine.
Never mind the why and wherefore,
Love can level ranks, and therefore
I admit the jurisdiction;
Ably have you played your part;
You have carried firm conviction
To my hesitating heart.

Captain & Sir Joseph.
Ring the merry bells on board-ship,
Rend the air with warbling wild,
For the union of his/my lordship
With a humble captain's child!

Captain.
For a humble captain's daughter —

Josephine.
For a gallant captain's daughter —

Sir Joseph.
And a lord who rules the water —

Josephine. (aside)
And a tar who ploughs the water!

Josephine. (aloud)
Let the air with joy be laden.

Captain & Sir Joseph.
Ring the merry bells on board-ship,

Josephine.
For the union of a maiden —

Captain & Sir Joseph.
For her union with his lordship.

All.
Rend with songs the air above,
For the man who owns her love!
Rend with songs the air above,
For the man who owns her love!

(Exit Josephine.)

DIALOGUE

Captain.
Sir Joseph, I cannot express to you my delight at the happy result
of your eloquence. Your argument was unanswerable.

Sir Joseph.
Captain Corcoran, it is one of the happiest characteristics
of this glorious country that official utterances are invariably
regarded as unanswerable.

(Exit Sir Joseph.)

Captain. At last my fond hopes are to be crowned. My only daughter
is to be the bride of a Cabinet Minister. The prospect is Elysian.

(During this speech Dick Deadeye has entered.)

Dick.
Captain.

Captain.
Deadeye! You here? Don't! (Recoiling from him.)

Dick.
Ah, don't shrink from me, Captain. I'm unpleasant to look at,
and my name's agin me, but I ain't as bad as I seem.

Captain.
What would you with me?

Dick. (mysteriously)
I'm come to give you warning.

Captain.
Indeed! do you propose to leave the Navy then?

Dick.
No, no, you misunderstand me; listen!