Don't Come Here To Live

We’re so happy that you want to stay
But our city’s full please go away
We don’t want to turn away your kind
So come anyway, I guess we won’t mind

We know what you’ve seen on the TV
How we live our lives totally fancy free
But you really ought to know
Portlandia is just a show

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you'll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR

So you live here now, you want a job?
I guess that’s cool - you’re not a slob
You could work at a restaurant
If that is the kind of job you want

What’s that you say? You have a degree?
A master’s in sustainability?
That’s really great, but you oughta know
I just got mine an hour ago

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you'll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR

I guess we can’t talk you out of it
So welcome to Portland, We Give A Shit
What’s that you say, you love the sky so blue?
Well I guess I’ve got some news for you…

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you'll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR
And there’s always PBR
And there’s always PBR