Last Words

I am the guardian of memories
I am the gatekeeper to what has been
I am the captor
The sentinel of moments
Of true spontaneity
In this cesspool of industrially fabricated frames
For life's ever fleeting sincerity
Must be preserved in all of its colors
My path on this world has never wavered until now
My role in this chaotic theatre of life has always been so clear to me
But I'm struggling to accept this ending
What's the point of a show if in the end
There is no audience actors or theatre
Nothing and no one to prove it ever existed at all
I wish I understood it more
I wish I could make sense of it all
I suppose the only thing I truly know
Is that when The Negative gets here
It will change everything
I've caught myself daydreaming about it a lot lately
What will this new world look like
Will the stars still twinkle in the night sky
Will the same colorful vibrancy still reflect in the light
Will humanity even exist in this new macrocosm
Or will we be expunged with the rest of it
I'd like to imagine it will be more like a pentimento
A new universe sprawled over the canvas of what once was
Leaving clues just under the surface
The tiniest shred of evidence of what existed before
But it's impossible to stay confident in that idea
When my expectations are everything and nothing all at once
All I know is that whatever it is that's going to happen
It's going to be soon
And it will happen in the blink of an eye
I took the last photo I will ever take the other day
It was a beautiful day and I was walking through the park during the golden hour
I noticed this feeble old man and behind him dragged this old tattered dog leash
It was vacant
There was no dog
Yet his hand held onto this leash with such conviction
It infuriated me
The pointlessness of it
I snapped a picture and then without even thinking
I threw my camera smashing it into pieces on the ground
I've always had a gift for distinguishing moments of truth
And I've always known my purpose was to capture and preserve those moments
So they can be remembered
But what is the point
What is the point of preserving these moments
What was the point of that fucking dog leash
I recognized the same undeniable truth I saw in the negative
That I've seen in all of the pictures I've ever captured
Since then time has haunted me every second of every day
It lingers over my head like a dark cloud
Heavy with powerful devastation
Ready to storm down upon the unsuspecting arrogance below
I KNOW The Negative is real
I KNOW it's coming fast
And I KNOW it is coming soon
EVERYTHING will be gone
Everything will be gone
Nobody is ever going to hear this
I don't even know why I'm recor