Dear Diary (Thoughts from My 4 Year Old Mind)

I always look forward to the moment where the preacher says and now you may kiss the bride
I get so happy...because I love romance....

I remember this one time when I was four
I wore a taffeta dress to a wedding
It was an old Christmas hand me down that my mom bought at a rich person‘s garage sale....

It was tight because I grew
And I’d imagine that one day I’d have boobs just like the bride
And have a groom that would love me....

My shoes were hand me downs from my sister
And I always put The right shoe on my left foot
And forgot to correct it until someone else did
Maybe that’s why I still take off one shoe at parties to this day...

I listened to how adults talked and I mimicked them in my Holly Hobby bedroom.... their tone their moves their accents their hands, their shoulder pads....
I pretended to be an adult

I imagined I was 42 and high maintenance
I smooth my taffeta dress with my hands
And acted dissatisfied and bothered
I put my hands on my face
And I’d start to pose as if I was unamused with the world....

After not being the bride
I’d sometimes just pretend to be one of the bridesmaids
Since they still got to walk up and down the aisle
In a pretty dress and have their big moment
They smile big
Even though they were probably just upset that they weren’t the bride too

When things would start to get boring I’d lay my head on my mom‘s lap
And then I’d look at her wedding ring
And I did vision cities inside of it
The shapes were sharp and beautiful
I was a princess who lived there
Dissatisfied
With all the beauty that I owned

Thoughts...from my four year old mind