Drag the Lake Charlie
Drag the lake, Charlie
Charlie, drag the lake
Lester didn't come home last night
And Wanda's all irate
Better keep your fingers crossed
And hope we find him drowned
Wanda's gonna come and kill us all
If he shows up in town
Drag the lake, Charlie
I heard that he was seen
Cavortin' with ol' Shorty
Up at the Line again
Wanda's got that goddamn
Pistol in her purse
If she goes on the rampage
You'll have to call the hearse
Better drag the lake, Charlie
Charlie, drag the lake
Remember what happened last time
When Lester went on the make?
I heard it took the cleaning crew
Two weeks to clear the bar
They never found that teenage girl
They never found her car
Drag the lake, Charlie
Drag the lake, Charlie
It won't be the first time
But it might be the last
Drag the lake, Charlie
And keep your fingers crossed
And if you're friends with Jesus
Please, ask him to help us
My best-case scenario
Is Lester turns up dead
I'm almost out of Valium
Courage, and self-respect
Drag the lake, Charlie
Drag the lake, Charlie
It won't be the first time
But it might be the last
