Stockholm

I've been there before
Can I please go back
And it hurts the most
A comforting trap
Do I really wanna be alright
When black is all I've ever known
Now that my mind could be all bright
I think I'd rather be alone
And I knoW it's bad
But I guess I'm kinda glad
I wanna go back to being sad
At least I knew how to handle it
The uneasy feeling of being happy
Euphoria can be so messy
Sometimes
And I keep on trying
My soul needs a rest
Will I keep on lying
To myself
Surrender your mind to endorphins
You're lacking some self esteem
This is a tale about control
I feel helpless having a ball
Am I supposed to love myself
The way I hate it
I won't go back to being sad
Wanna forget how to handle it
But right now I feel so empty
Dysphoria is messing with me
And here it is
My biggest struggle
My brain is like
A damn puzzle
Unconsciously starting to feel better and better and better
Walking on thin ice
Brain damaged since eleven
The joke's on me, let's roll the dice
Sometimes I go back to being sad
I won't forget how to handle it
And when it comes to thoses cheery times
I guess I'll try to embrace it