Crowdpleaser

I bet you wanna hear me sing about cars
I bet you wanna hear me sing about tits
I bet you wanna hear me lower my standards
I bet you wanna hear me not give a shit
Well, I hear what you're thinking, clear and true
I'm not here for me, I'm just for you
Well, I've got just the thing you wanna hear, honey
So take out your wallet and give me your money

This is your crowdpleaser
Your cochlear teaser
Something that won't make you think
So you can sit back and drink

Innovation is for hipsters and snobs
So here's the single you've been begging me for
Just another cock rock radio song
Since you treat me like a musical whore
I've got the shit to start the party off right
Sanitized and inoffensive and white
This is one for all the midlife crisis folks here
A perfect mask so you don't find out I'm queer

Everybody say "I have no self-awareness
And my sense of humor's trash
The eighties are dead now
So you can kiss my ass
I'll never play this live
Cause it's essentially filler
But if you're in your fifties
I bet you think it's killer"

(I'm trying my hardest not to try at all
Cause to sell any records, you gotta sell out
Pushing you for trifling and ultimately stifling creatives
Is what this whole biz is about)