Candyman

[Verse 1: Darwin Deez]
She's halfway in graph, with the face of Angela Chase
I call her red, she said it's called Crimson Glow though, safe
Hope we get a chance to share some really real moments
So many times, girls and I just end up opponents
But I want to be on the same side of the bed she lays her head on
I want to stay the same guy, and be with her until she's dead and gone
See, these raps just come out of me, like the way emotions do
My flows go on and on forever, like the way some oceans do
So I flow for you, tight, like airport security
On some, take your shoes off before you rap, and don't hurry me
Don't worry, be happy, easier said than done
Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai, you and I are not we, but one
That ass was fat lied, on some existential abyss shit
Had it, lost it, miss it, make me want to slit my wrists, shit
Why are we so drawn to the smell of sex and candy
Ryan and Marissa, Summer and Seth, Kirsten, Cohen, and Sandy

[Verse 2: Donovan Deez]
I'm bi-polar, my starry nights quickly turn solar
I hope this change in light won't ruin my chance to get to know her
She wants me to be the man, but I'm still quite pre-pubescent
Half the time I'm with her, I'm distracted, my mind's not present
She told me once that I was sensitive and understanding
That I'm the guy she wants; simple, smart, not too demanding
But by myself, I'm sick and twisted, my head's in the gutter
If I don't love myself, how can I learn to love another
She's a cute girl, I'm so obtuse that she completes me
Like a lamb to the slaughter, she's meek and so unlikely to flee
Her scent is sweet, her hands are warm, I'm waking from my coma
But now I have cavities in my nose, I need a new aroma
With a laugh like that, she could even make Bill Murray cheerful
Now she's ready for things to move forward, I'm so fearful
Tonight I'll tell her all these thoughts that I've been thinking
But I'm not sure it'll help, since this love boat's already sinking

[Verse 3: Darwin Deez]
I like to go to Federation Space on the weekends
Deanna Troi fees me bok choy from the Replicator
Which I savor, up until the hip-hop beat ends
We talk about my feelings
And she takes me to the Holodecks and she can
Sense whenever I think about some "holo-sex"
Holographic, pornographic sex thoughts weaken the mind
Ship's counselor
Shit, I want to bounce with her
Order Synthehol on Ten-Forward, I should pounce on her
That's what Guinan told me I should do, and she's a wise man
But, she's half Betazoid, you can't be surprised, man
Trying to get at the heart of the matter, though
I'm trying to get at the heart of this girl I'm after, so
Start to chat her up
I try to resist but can't help but look at her butt
I hope she act a slut in the bedroom
Enough headroom on the cut, that's cause I recorded it well
I came hard cause the whore did it well, I mean the lady

[Verse 4: Darwin Deez]
Third verse, I do the worst, than the other two do
I watch my videos on TooDo
Unlike views expressed by other YouTube users
This shit is really, really, really, really profound
As in, it was professionally discovered
As in, an orphan, that finally found his mother
This is Baba Ram Dass murdering a Red Hat, running Windows
The shitty raps you wrote, you should bend those
Yo, Linus from Charlie Brown is actually the dude that wrote Linux
He wrote it in C+, Lucy's advice is inex-
'Pensive, but not worth shit
She takes Charlie's balls away
That was deep, in a stupid way
Way, way more irresponsible than Himanshu Suri
Plus shorty said I'm girly
She's probably just jealous of my Baha
But surely Tom-Kat'd be surly if I stole Suri Cruise, 'kay
Katie's firstborn Scientology dues, pay
Katie singing Scientology blues, gay
This aggression will not stand, like The Dude say
Shouts to DR, like from Haiti, on holiday
Love, like from Amy to The Zutons, Valerie
Radio-1 Live, Lounge Lizards, Larry John, Arto Lindsay
DNA, Darwin Deez, Bad Day, everyday
Ice Cube's AK stays, on safety on a good day
But yo, man, I got more bling than [?]'s ear, ring-a-ding
Get the door, the florist's here
1-800-FLOWERS from Kanye
Perfect, for when you're not humble enough to say, "I'm sorry"
Or, when your mom died