Lucky Penny

(Wayne Knight...)

[Hook - Sample] [Unknown ???]

(DJ Grouch, DJ Grouch, nah man, DJ Grouch!)

[Verse 1]
I saw a penny on the sidewalk
Heads
Decided whether I should try luck-
Fuck that!
Jordan soles walked on
Who needs luck when my dope is spot-on?
Then I saw a bum five steps from
Beggin' spare change
Sittin' behind a cup
Told him there's a penny five steps back
Replied, "Fuck that
A penny can't buy -"

[Hook - Sample]

[Verse 2]
I saw a penny on the sidewalk
Heads
Decided whether I should try luck-
Fuck that!
Jordan soles walked on
Who needs luck when my dope is spot-on?
Then I saw a bum five steps from
Beggin' spare change
Sittin' behind a cup
Told him there's a penny five steps back
Replied, "Fuck that
A penny can't buy jack!
But you should grab it for the [???], chief!
That penny could be your ticket to the Big Leagues!
See me?
I could've made a lot of sense
I ignored change
Took a lot of steps
Instead of collecting for the better
I walked
Now my toes poke through the leather
And the young ones laugh as they walk by
Tryna' be insultin'
But laughs are a far cry
Once you've tasted the dirt off a boot's toe
Or swallowed the blood of your own gums
And still tried to smell a rose through a broke nose
Hardy-har-hars are hardly hard, son
Maybe it ain't worth the bend-over
But if you don't
You'll never know
So
Make the choice
Take the penny home
Or be me and forever be a penny short, my boy!"

[Hook - Sample]

[Verse 3]
I slipped the penny in my pocket
The bum laughed
"Wise choice, grasshopper!"
Nodded so long to my sensei
Thanked him for the spare change
Off I hopped as my lucky day began
Made it half a block then heard change splash
And heard laughs and "Take That"'s
I was too afraid to stare back, but did slow
Saw him on his knees, trying to stand
Knees too weak, he fell on his hands
Scraped the ground for his nickels and dimes
Teens clappin' and gigglin'
While I
Stood there like a mannequin
I guess Jeff lost his hat again
Another dirty boot served raw
Another bloody tooth gone loose
His corner was far from a garden
Roses were in desperate need of watering
I felt like vomiting
The penny burned a hole through my pocket when I realized
I was worse than those who hurt him
I did nothing
Luck?
Didn't deserve it
I turned my back to his corner
Tossed the lucky penny over my shoulder
Good luck, my boy.

[Hook - Sample]

(All around the world!)