Jade

Face black another shadow of innocence tainted
Gave back all the lights and glitter
Wrong track again and again is stings
Wish you all could feel like this
12 is for the reason of regret
9 is for the pain that I'm caused
Will strife ever cease? Someday

Fuck this mind that is made to hate
Complete the task of humility
Restrained from who they want me to be
That's what they want me to be
That is not quite good enough for me
Fuck you and your thoughts on me
Fuck you and your thoughts of me
Fuck you how can I not be me
Fuck you I will never let you take me
I will never be that good little one
I can never see what is so good about life

I can never change just who I am or what is I think I am doing
My hands fell down now I know I failed
You were not there to pick up the waste of this pathetic tale
Maybe I should just end all this right here
Would you like that?
Maybe you could cope knowing that you all have succeeded
I am staying here to betray all of you
Never failing me again
Cut a little, it bleeds slowly can you see it ooze?

I'm going to save me
My eyes turn the color jade
I look at everyone around me
I am so sick of this place
Anyone and anything makes me sick
I just want to end it all
I return to my room walls white with black shades
Oh how would red look?
The reasons are not for your ears
The feelings are not for your heart
I circle in tears wishing, hoping, dreaming
Can I find a way out besides this?

I need it
I want to be where you are
I miss you