March 11th

Now I gotta panic through the late night

Never been the one, I was really tryna run from this shit
Suicide attempt, blood loss made me sick
I was stuck on a bitch, fuck love it's a risk
Ever since then I been as numb as a bitch

Went to the hospital in handcuffs
Mad as a bitch, it was fuckin my plans up
They needed a drug test, but ain't lemme stand up, so
And had a cop pull my pants up

The same fucking one that found me bloody in the whip
On some 10 police cars, 2 ambulances shit
Never woulda found me if I turned my phone off
All I wanted was her, I was manic as shit

Bitch I planned for the shit, all the damage I did
Was supposed to be the end and I can't even do it right
I don't want you telling me you're happy I'm alive
Cuz if I say the same, here's the reason it's a lie

March 11th fucked me up
March 11th cut me up
March 11th told the truth bout who I am I've done enough

I can't even think about the pain I caused
Fuck this, fuck that, fuck me, fuck you
Let em all down, they won't ever come around
Don't lie, you know, I know, the truth

You should know the reason that I'm ruining my life
Cuz now, I don't, got shit, to lose
Burned every bridge cuz I didn't wanna live
I don't, know what, the fuck, to do

Imma man up, I been takin all the blame
My reason, why is, no excuse, but
If I made a case, for the way I made you feel
The scars, that still, won't heal, is proof

Now I gotta panic through the late night
Now I gotta panic through the late night
Now I gotta panic through the late night
Now I gotta panic through the late night

Mama thought I wouldn't make it home
It was hard to reply, wipin blood off my phone
After this, you won't hear from me again,
It's my last fucking song, I ain't fine on my own

I don't think I will be, this should have killed me
Now the only thing my ex feels is guilty
I would always say that I would find her in any lifetime, I know she feels me

Cuz maybe it won't end like this
I don't want a life I gotta spend like this
Now I fell in love with a blade
Ever since she figured out I couldn't cut it to stay

What the fuck should I say?
Talkin bout it doesn't make shit better, it makes shit worse, I don't give a fuck if we're close
Open wounds is how I open up
My psychiatrist is beggin me to up every dose

You don't know the half about what this shit did to Rachael
I ain't want a life without the one who kept me stable
She ain't answer me the night when I was callin
I won't be the same, luckily it's not her problem, look

I ain't here to say you handled it wrong
I don't hate you for it, I just hope you feel the same
I can tell you won't ever hear this song, but,
If you ever do, I just hope that you're okay cuz

March 11th fucked you up
March 11th cut you up
March 11th showed you why you can't love me I've done enough

I can't think about, how I made you feel
Fuck this, fuck that, I still, love you
Fucked you up, I ain't worthy of your love
Don't lie, you know, I know, the truth

Never was your fault, that I'm ruining my life
Cuz now, I don't, got shit, to lose
I can't feel shit, I don't have a way to cope
I don't, know what, the fuck, to do

Imma man up, I ain't givin you the blame
I just, miss being, close to, you
You were my forever, I don't wanna carry on
My scars, that still, won't heal, is proof