Dying Of Boredom

Yeah
Ain't shit to say about it
There ain't a way around it
If I'm okay I doubt it
If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it
If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it
They say I'm extra, extra
You can read about it
And I won't ever, ever
Be at peace about it
If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it
If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it
Okay I washed the blood off my shirt, cuz now I'm not dying of boredom
I ain't apologizing for that shit again, I don't feel the need to force it
I don't know how the fuck they didn't see it coming, every song was a warning
But if it's war then, I'll end up at a ward in, handcuffs, and they won't ignore it
But I don't feel the need to go that route
Because I took the blame and then I made amends
I won't ever be forgiven, but I can live with that cuz I'm okay again
And I ain't mean to hurt nobody, I was tryna hurt myself, didn't think of no one else
You don't know the pain I felt? Fuck it maybe this can help
I don't think I'm wrong for this, it's the opposite
I'm acknowledging that they won't hear this shit
They loved the way that I would talk about my mental health, I was in fear of it
They loved the way that I would open up, until that bloody shirt was experienced
If you looked into ya Phrxhvzion maybe you could see what yo peer admits
But you looked the other way
And I thought I deserved it forreal
I made album just crying for help
And I thought that you heard it forreal
I ain't talking like a tough guy
That shit really hurt me forreal, fuck
I already had abandonment issues
I hope you feel worse than I feel, even though I know that
If it wasn't for Lovelace I wouldn't be alive, keep in mind
They the ones who called the cops when they ain't wanna see me die
They were calling for a wellness check
And I called em back when I was hospitalized
Sent a picture of their shirt that I wore
And asked what they got in that size, I manned up and I apologized
I know I crossed the line, but you don't know where it sent me
They would tell me that it doesn't define me
Then chose to resent me and hold it against me
A few of y'all been in my position
I don't understand how this is different
I was told to give it time and space
But now I don't give a fuck to fix it
Ya better not hit my phone cuz you don't wanna risk it imma leave it at that
I used to be a Piñata until I said fuck it I'm swinging the bat
I gotta give credit where it's due tho, y'all were the reason for that
I hope the tables turn and then you get abandoned just to see you react
You can take all the shots in the world at me, and you ain't hearing shit back
Cuz then you'll be proving every fucking point I made it ain't clearer than that
Lemme find out we end up at the same show, I'll perform this in front of you
But I don't see y'all showing up to the venue cuz I already know wassup witchu
I can't fuck witchu
I made it out and now I got a grip
So do I hold it down or hold a grudge for you
Y'all accepted me for who I was and that shit meant the world cuz I looked up to you
I hate the fact that I'm as numb as you
I kept this story in the tuck for you
Before you call me actin hyper aggressive
Just let me tell you what the fuck to do
I didn't write this shit to play the victim again cuz I did enough
But I won't let y'all play the victim either cuz you all made a choice to not give a fuck
So keep that energy don't switch it up
And don't say a fucking word when you notice this
I don't want for y'all to act out of character
Keep pretending like I don't exist