I Wish I Knew the Man I Thought You Were

We drank tea in your office
Against the rules
You, the finest teacher of mine
In the school

Your use of metaphor
Perceptions profound
You answered my uncertainties
I'd finally found

My mentor, my anchor
The man I could turn to
Well I need you now
And it's you that I run to

I wish I knew the man I thought you were
I would tell him when you touched me
It astonished and betrayed me
Oh, I know you're making much of me
That's not my kind of accolade
I wish I knew the man I thought you were
He'd tell me not to trust the man you are

You asked me to your office
Early Saturdays
In the early morning light
You read me Araby

And from your office window
One early Saturday
You wept, as you watched me
walk away

You said to see me go
Just to see your love
Absorbed into the day
I could think of a word to say

I wish I knew the man I thought you were
He would tell me there must be
Some kind of a mistake
He'd perceive I'm not a woman
That he can ever take
I wish I knew the man I thought you were
He'd tell me not to trust the man you are

Let me run to you
And find you
With that cold morning light
On your desktop
And on your burning Irish face
And ask you to change what has happened
My mentor, my hope
You who were to help me
Through those early school years
With more than books
With sense and wisdom
But who will I find
When I have you before me
To cry to?
Not the man I thought you were
I wish I knew the man I thought you were