Bettie Bettie

[Chorus]
Bettie, Bettie, where can you be?
I ain't seen the likes of you in Hustler magazine
Bettie, Bettie, don't you understand?
If I had been taught by you, I'd be a different man

[Verse 1]
You came to New York City back in Jack and Neal's day
All the lights of old Times Square, they flickered on the Great White Way
Straight from Tennessee and in the rarest beauty form
You walked before The Klaw and caused a nationwide storm

[Verse 2]
After he remembered you from 1952
All the boys down at the pool hall had a calendar or two
Forty-odd years later you're still up and going strong
But I can't help wondering just where it is you've gone?

[Chorus]
Bettie, Bettie, where can you be?
I ain't seen the likes of you in Hustler magazine
Bettie, Bettie, don't you understand?
If I had been taught by you, I'd be a different man

[Verse 3]
All the boys at boot camp had your picture on their wall
Thousands others saw you at their bachelor party brawl
But they don't see your smile like I do shining in my dream
That Jungle Mistress, Dark Madonna, leather movie queen

[Chorus]
Bettie, Bettie, where can you be?
I ain't seen the likes of you in Hustler magazine
Bettie, Bettie, don't you understand?
If I had been taught by you, I'd be a different man

[Verse 4]
Well now, Bridget Bardot, Julie Newmar, Mary Anne, Fay Wray
Mister Vargas' pictures made me what I am today
But if I could see you one more time and not lose all my nerve
I'd gladly give the greatest of them all what she deserve

[Chorus]
Bettie, Bettie, where can you be?
I ain't seen the likes of you in Hustler magazine
Bettie, Bettie, don't you understand?
If I had been taught by you, I'd be a different man

[Outro]
That's a true story