Bad Day

A bad day

Just wakin' up in the mornin', gotta thank God
Got my ass cheeks stuck to a fishin' rod
Where's the dogs? Ain't no frogs
Momma cookin' breakfast with no log

I got my grub on but didn't pig out
No Thanksgivin' so we eatin', carry out
This dude came through my front door
He said I wouldn't live to see a 24

I gotta go 'cause I got on flip flops
If I sold out then my feet 'll drop
Had to stop at the red light
Everybody laughin' at my yellow dirt bike

And everything's alright
I got a beep from Sherry, she's a transvestite
Called up my homies and I'm askin' y'all
Bring twenty bottles of alcohol

Playin' football and I'm trouble
They gave me the ball, I fumbled
And I can't believe my best friend's gay
Today was a bad day

Today was a bad day
Today was fucked up

I bust my ass in the shower
Got on this fresh new baby powder
Kids, just today these fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and got my ass beat

No flexin', wooped my ass in the intersection
Till I shoot, that's the question
Went to Big Fam house to watch the Rap City
Shootin' them craps, I got 50

Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
A circle a niggas, watch me all fake 'em
They beat my ass, I need nine, 9/11
They threw my ass through the back door

They took all my cash flow
Punched me in the chest and kicked me in the asshole
I just found out my best friend's gay
Today was a bad day

Today was a bad day
Today was fucked up

Left my homies, house paid
Picked up this chick, been tryin' rape since the twelfth grade
It's ironic, the pigeons is the man
And Artest fired on a fan

Took a trip to Miami
Got my ass beat at the 21st Grammy
My dick is so weak, so weak
So weak I put my own ass to sleep

Woke her up around one
He didn't hesitate to say that she didn't cum
Ridin' down seven mile coastin', smoken on the potion
Rubbin' on some baby oil lotion

And nothin' seems to work out
She smacked me in the face and murked out
Today was like one of those bad dreams
Jackin' off with a bowl full of whip cream

Helicopter lookin' for the murderer
Two in the mornin' got the Coney Island burger
Even with the lights of the Good Year blimp
And it read Bizarre ain't shit

Drunk as hell and I'm throwin' up
Pager cut off so you know it ain't blowin' up
I found out that my best friend was gay
Today was a bad day

Today was a bad day
Today was fucked up