The Ballad of Dirty Joe

Out upon the briny deep where the wild and wet winds blow, There sailed a cruel and evil man, the pirate Dirty Joe. He sailed upon the scummiest craft that ever left the docks He roamed the world and seven seas in search of dirty socks.
He wore a scratchy, scraggly beard, he had but one good eye, And with a tattered piece of sail, his oily hair hed tie. Hook on his arm? Aye, yes, that too - he found it very handy For picking in between his teeth to get out sticky candy.
His one good eye surveyed the seas, searching for some ship And when he spied a boat out there, hed sneer and lick his lips All hands on deck, hed order, theres treasure to be had! Hed shake his one fist in the air and laugh like he were mad.
Hed fire his cannons cross their bow, and board the other craft Then make the crew take off their shoes, and with a horrid laugh He tied the sailors all up tight, and rob them of their socks Then leave their ship a-floundering to run up on the rock.
The socks he took from other ships, youll be surprised to learn He tied upon his rigging lines that reached from bow to stern They flapped and fluttered in the breeze, a thousand little flags - And the smell that those old socks gave off would make you cough and gag.
From China to the Ivory Coast, Australia up to Spain, The pirate did his dirty work across the bounding Main - You could always tell a boat Joe robbed by looking at the crew -Fear was deep within their eyes, and all there toes were blue.
Till one day as he sailed his ship somewhere near Mandalay His lookout spied another boat beating cross the bay Ah ha! said Joe, lets get that boat, well catch it now by thunder, For sure as I am Dirty Joe, theres socks there we can plunder.
The pirates cheered and set their sails to catch up with their prey They sharpened up their knives and swords, their boat danced in it.