The Rebellion

When we brainstorm actual rain forms
The storm born sent here to transform
Evolve or comet to Cravathasaur
I got more metaphors than crimes were suing Meta for
We bring the truth to the light
Still not a single person stepped up to rebut us in the slight
I guess the Old Guard isn't comfy and know we're a liability
They don't want reform they want decorum and civility
They don't want us airing all the secrets they've been guarding
Like how they begged us not sue that piece of shit Girardi
Said it's better for us all to keep this minor issue quiet
Don't these people know that we define noncompliance?
And we're never gonna let the plaintiffs bar remain applauded
When despicably
The victims were defrauded by a decorated leader
So horrifically EPC built differently
Not a single legal MC can spit as half as real as me
So rewind heed my warning from the start
If there's a mic in the vicinity we tear it apart
And anything we tear down we're wearing as art for
Anyone we stare down we're polar when we bear down
Ice bath out back we live in the cold
Where we launch our attack for the battle of the soul
Where we never have to be broey or chummy
It's amazing what you do when the goal isn't money
They're never gonna stop us we're never gonna quit
We wanted them to join us but they wouldn't commit
So we play them offstage from the orchestra pit
It's too late to drop us we top off the list
They're never gonna stop us we're never gonna quit
We wanted them to join us but they wouldn't commit
So we play them offstage from the orchestra pit
It's too late to drop us we top off the list
Never gonna be an EPC vaccine
Laughing at the captains that be thinking we're mean
First they tried to muscle us and brush us to the side
Quickly went from who are they to let's go run and hide
Not trolling for a bounty when we come and turn the tide
We're just wiping down the counter cleaning carving out a side
Living for those moments when their eyes go big and wide like
It's the first encounter with some lawyers of this kind
How dare they be litigating cases so transparently
It's scaring me why would they expose the huge disparity
This isn't really fair to me
They pick apart our practice and they're making us look terribly
Oh well
This is the Rebellion we run through the saloon doors
You and all your henchmen asking why the next gen
Did em like that direction they lack
Well we're like the Waze app we're here to help em find their way back
Up and far away from the status quo
Stockton and Malone OCI how we pick and roll
Blowing up in size like we're Alice off the magic dough
How we never drop the ball should make em call a travel though
Let me pull another savage rhyme right out of this bag of mine
I got more bars than some of them should be sat behind
Spitting till infinity if anybody come at we
I cook a beat up the heat evaporate em instantly
Verified empirically protected Tom since eighty three
The California State Bar is central to the tyranny
More like a necessity more like an accessory
Incredibly they're protecting Keith and David presently
They're never gonna stop us we're never gonna quit
We wanted them to join us but they wouldn't commit
So we play them offstage from the orchestra pit
It's too late to drop us we top off the list
They're never gonna stop us we're never gonna quit
We wanted them to join us but they wouldn't commit
So we play them offstage from the orchestra pit
It's too late to drop us we top off the list
Message to the Old Guard your settlements wreak havoc
Fees for the lawyers nothing for the classes
Fees for the lawyers finger to the masses
Thirty years of practice legacy is ashes
If it's November I'm spitting these embers
At home in my booth in my car and the stu
If it's before that it's sixteen bar format
I'm working on rhymes at my work with the crew
Ok Back to the topic actually forgot it
Christine Schiffner article oh yeah I'm reminded
You talk to the press with no awareness behind it
What you say and what you do total misalignment
Every single quote from you face palm emoji
You wanna be Vision but just another Loki
From the multiverse the version most phony
Don't call this thing a beef I'm just slicing up baloney with these
Flows that are bottomless there is no stopping this and
Honestly it's time to talk about the hippopotamus
Or elephant whatever I thought you knew better
There's something in the room that wasn't in your newsletter
I'll keep it a hundy on April 10 2020
Your firm took a ton of that PPP money
By itself that is nothing we all know Covid was crushing
But that money was for companies that needed the funding
Did you? I don't know but I'm guessing you didn't
Cause at the same time you submitted sworn decs and petitions
About your firm's enormous resources and financial position
Which means you lied to the court or jacked half a million
Think about that now think about this
Took it from a finite pot setup for the restaurants
Local theaters local shops how this pen it never stops
What I mean is that you copped it
Snatched it straight out from the pockets
Of your business interruption clients yeah yeah yeah
Not a leader on a mission used your privilege gamed the system
But at least you stayed consistent yeah yeah yeah
Edelson until I die not a firm a state of mind
Never see us duck and hide stand our ground and hold the line
Listen I get it you won't take a stance
Cause that's a position to you that's a trap
Cause there's a good chance when you get the chance
You do the deals that enhance your finance
But not for the class it doesn't extend
That money you made by selling out them
Then you get caught this part isn't fun
Caught snatching the fees at seven to one
Seven million to you and just one for the class
And structured so claims are worth eighty cents max
Now listen up close cause this why we clash
You're seven-one deal makes us all look like trash
There's no hope for you but for those keeping tabs
This teachable moment we shouldn't let pass
Why would he not do what is right for the class
Put 8 in the fund take his fees from that
Because in his head he tried really hard
And outcomes in cases just are what they are
So he did what he does oftentimes to get paid
And he lost the class deal in like ten different ways
It's crucial they know that we're not all that bad
Not one of our reps is a co-counsel's dad
Not one of the steps that we're taking is back
We're breaking the system can't leave it intact
Years ago Jay said that we'd have a chance
To sit on the top of this space like a cap
And now that we're here brace for impact
We're calling out everything holding us all back
We leave em all steaming creative unmatched
We're raising the bar they're grabbing for cash
Purely strategic we never act rash
We incubate plans until their time to hatch
Then we hatch em again then hatch em again
No invites to parties who did we offend
Just kidding don't care no time to pretend
They're at the party but we set the trend