Call Me

Call me Efrem Zimbalist
Get me Bobby Kennedy
Then call Dave Ben-Gurion, too
Then tell Carol Baker I'm home now
Tell her Mastroianni sends love from Rome now

Then get Hank Mancini and tell him
Fred Fellini is waiting
Where the heck is the song?
Order Scotch and ice and then
Ring up Barbra Streisand and then
Set up a conference call
With Sammy Davis and Charles de Gaulle

Call me Walter Cronkite
And tell him Nancy Dickerson said
That David Brinkley was wrong
Then get Conrad Hilton in Bombay
Tell him tuesday night I want peaches flambe

Call Chief Justice Warren
And tell him Sophie Loren is worried
Is she married or not?
Then call Arthur Schlesinger
No, no, send a messenger
With the saddest news of the bunch
Tell Lady Bird I'll be late for lunch

Dial up Liberace
And, while up, Joe Valachi
And tell him Lucky sends his regards
Find out where Onassis' barge is
Call him, ship-to-shore, and reverse the charges

Locate Melvin Belli
And tell Mel when I fell I was scratched
By Princess Margaret's rose
Then call Lollabrigida
This week she's in Wichita
And then, when you reach Cary Grant
Tell him I'd love to, but I just can't