Love Triangle

I've just seen a girl standing in the orchestra
She stands at the back, I simply must confess
Her sticks hit the drums, I want to dance along
My heart goes a-flutter when she plays her little gong

I'm in love with a girl standing in the orchestra
She plays the castanets while she tickles her cabasa
She is so very good at her multitasking
I'd ask her for a drink and she'd love me just for asking

I'm crackers about her maracas
I go bonkers at her bongos
Her shaker makes my knees quake
Her timpani quite simply puts my heart into symphony

I'd like to propose to the girl in the orchestra
Her bongos were exquisite in La Traviata
And even though I know that's not what Verde had intended
I do believe he'd think again, it really was quite splendid

Until one day she reaches in her old percussion bag
And whips out her big triangle and beater in the hand
My heart went cold, my hands clammed up, my body full of fear
I'm now forever haunted by the worst noise in the world
A pointless, ghastly, awful sound still ringing in my ears
[Triangle ding, followed by a scream]

Triangles are not instruments
They're barely just a shape
They're for accidents on the hard shoulder
Half a sandwich, a slice of cake
Yes triangles are for pyramids
Building bridges, tortilla chips
Triangles for trigonometry
And we all know from school, that's also shit