Liza (Live)

[Spoken]
We call that song no one is alive when I’m around
And we were making it up and
I said to Lance it’s kinda like being inside a
Video game it’s like grand theft on time
Singing that song but ah uhm anyway uhm
Ladies and gentlemen we are coming up to the last song now
I know I’m sad too but obviously it’s not really the last song
I mean come on ah it’s not the last song really
I tell you what’s going to happen
You know it’s just this weird little ritual we always do
I will tell you a hilarious joke
And then I will sing the love song
And then I will probably walk up through there
Bang into you like I’m rubbing my crotch to the back of your chairs
And walking to the exit chatting awkwardly to the bar staff
You will be hearing I wonder if he is going to come back
On I wonder if he going to do an anchor my goodness I wonder I wonder
And that sort of desperate way meanwhile Lance and Ellen and Chris
Would have stayed on the stage Ah that should have been a clue because
This is not their apartment they do not live here
And then of course I will comeback on
And you will all be like oh gosh
I didn't expect this oh goodness what are we ever going to do
And you will be like ah thank goodness we did not call the Uber too early
Well this story is about someone we all know and love and her name is
Liza Minariy

And kinda the reason I’m standing here tonight is because of Liza
Not because she is my mom I want to squash that rumor straight away
Liza Minariy is not my mother but that would be hilarious though ain’t it
If Liza Minariy was my mother but lance um musical geek alert
What would it be like uh uh you know if I was like
Liza was my mom and get christmas at Liza’s
What would that be like
Oh musical theater musical geek alert Lace Arm

Anyway so about eight years ago I was in Scotland doing this play
First time doing a concert in my homeland
And so I was like Cranky so I called her up and we had dinner
At the night of our concert
And it just so happened that at that time
I was just as for the first time to do a show like this
I was asked to do one of those American song at the Lincoln center
By the time I was asked to do it I was so nervous and so anxious
Big leap for me to make you know stand on stage and don’t have
The vale of a character between you and me so I was saying all of this
To Liza and he gave me some really meaningful advice he said that
Things like for example that every song think of every song as a play
That you are in this play now you know a structure you’re in it and
You are a character in this play and he also taught me things
He really counts on me and gives me confidence about doing
Something like this and she sort of you know taught me
That you are suppose to be sort of a show man
But to also retain your own sort of authentication
So I will forever be grateful to her and uhm anyway so
The next night it was her concert at Glasgow
I had already seen her show though
It was the one that was called Liza at the palace
And um it was about her godmother Kay Thompson
Who wrote the Elice Berk and was the big MGM lady
Think pink that was her thing
And this show Liza did was kind of a homage to her godmother
And it it she told this absolutely heart warming gorgeous story
About how when she was 16 she got a job in a in a summer stock
At a musical and she was so excited because she had a 10 seconds
Dance solo and she still wanted her mom and Godmother to come and see it
So they did the girl and Kay Thompson went to some tent in Connecticut somewhere
And as the lights when down they kinda rushed in so nobody saw them
They sat down and they watched this show and sure enough
Liza came on and at one point did this 10 second dance solo and they were just
So full of laugh and joy and pride for her and they both burst into tears
But they didn't have a hankey they couldn't find a hankey
And the only thing they had was Judy powder puff
And so Judy dabbed her eyes and then she gave it to Kay, Kay dabbed her eyes at
And so when they went back after her she saw Liza and she stared down
In this daring way and she say was I any good and they said darling you are
So wonderful we are so moved and they told her about the powder puff
And she gave her the powder puff her mom gave her the powder puff
And liza said I still have that powder puff to this day I know right
Isn't that darling so I heard that story in New York and then
The next night I had dinner with her in Glasgow it was her show again
So I took two of my friends who I was working with Glasgow
I was doing the play the back guy for the national teachers Scotland
I was playing dying Isis naturally and it was directed by this guy Jordan Tiffany
Who is this amazing director he was one of the person who directed the Macbeth I was in also lots of other things and the Choreographer was Steve who was also a genius
So the three of us went to see Liza and we held hands really and literally throughout
The entire show and everyone breath like this hhhha
And it was just an amazing and amazing evening to the show
Went back to Liza’s hotel and you know we were having drinks
French fries and Liza was smoking and Steven and John were actually
Sitting at her feet I mean literally and they were chatting away
Liza was talking about her life and she said John you are a director
My father was a director and he was like I know that I know that Liza
And then we were just chatting about you know
Me limiting the show and just how you perform and all sort of stuff
And at one point I said Liza do you really still have that powder puff
And she when no darling none of that ever happened
And that is show business ladies and gentlemen